5 Things I’ve Seen On My Recent Walks

Ambling around, wandering by, strolling along, and generally waddling towards an unarticulated destination, I’ve been walking a few times this week. And here are five things I’ve witnessed on my travels.

The Underside Of The Second Severn Crossing

When I was younger, we used to sail under the original Severn Bridge rather often, but I haven’t been on a boat on the river since they erected that second crossing a few miles down tide. What struck me as I walked underneath the new one was just how rusty all the support beams were.

An Old Man Rolling Tobacco

He was sat on a wall, outside his (or maybe someone else’s) house, with a pouch of Old Virginia, making a cigarette with a pensive look on his face. He was also wearing crocs.

A Lazy Pokemon Hunter

As I sat resting my weary feet, a shiny black Ford Fiesta rolled on by, doing no more than four miles an hour, straddling both lanes of the road, being driven no-handed by a man holding his phone up to his face and firing of Pokeballs.

A Discarded Baby Booster Seat And An Oasis CD

Ditched on the side of the road, by a farm gate, rotting and damp, a great big beige baby seat just sat there next to an equally unloved copy of Oasis’ Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants CD case. I didn’t check if the disc was still inside. I also wondered if the same person had decided to eject these things from his life or if two people just happened to throw these things away in the same place.

God

I found him. Just sitting in a field. Farting.

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