Google Is Made Of Lego

Everyone likes Lego. Americans like it so much they add an extra S to the name.

In fact, we like Lego so much that the whole internet these days is powered by the little plastic bricks.

Kinda.

Look at this.

That’s the first ever Google server.

Built in the basement lab at Stanford … out of Lego.

I wonder if that’s why the Google logo is made up of those colours …

Lego used to be called Automatic Binding Bricks, and every single piece made since 1958 will still fit together. And Lego is officially the largest tyre manufacturer in the world. On average, everyone on the planet owns 86 pieces of Lego.

Anyway, I’m off to watch The Automatic Binding Bricks Movie.

Two Types Of Men

I’ve long held the (tongue in cheek and highly reductive) suspicion that there are only two types on men on the planet. The ones who are content with the size of their willy, and the ones who aren’t content with the size of their willy.

Once you decide this is true (it isn’t, it’s a joke), it’s rather easy to spot which is which.

Is this man content with the size of his willy?

How about this man?

And what about him?

Now you know how to play the game, you are fully tooled up to go out willy measuring all the men in your life.

Enjoy.

7 Disturbing Facts About Bread

Since I gave up bread, I feel better for it, and because I didn’t replace it with other food stuffs, I’ve lost more weight that I care to admit. But the reason I gave up bread wasn’t because of these seven spurious, possibly false facts.

Bread Is Made Of Old Books

It’s frightening just what goes into the modern loaf, but did you know, the most active ingredient in bread is second hand books? It’s mainly celebrity biographies that have been shredded that end up in your split tin. And the clue is right in front of your nose. B-Read.

Bread Causes Ennui

Ever had that feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction after eating a whole baguette? That’s no coincidence. An additive in most modern bread, called Maydupp 7, is known to cause slight boredom, and if eaten in the right quantities, can even cause sighing.

Bread Is Dangerous

Bread is so dangerous that it has to be kept in air tight bags and stacked on shelves for its own safety. Were it not for this precaution, bread would run amok in the streets, fouling the public highways, and tickling old woman under their hats.

In case you don’t know what bread looks like …

Bread Is Responsible For Everything Bad That Happened Ever

All the evil things in the world, done by all the evil people, chances are, those evil people ate bread at some point in their lives. Coincidence? Hitler? Ate bread. Stalin? Ate bread. Ally McCoist? Ate bread. Case closed.

MacDonald’s Uses Bread In Its Food

Yeah. Can you believe it? In spite of everything we know about bread, MacDonald’s still use it in their burgers and coatings. I mean, come on. Wake up people.

Bread Was Originally Invented For Good

The original inventor of bread, a Dr Albous Winkletoss, originally wanted his new invention to be used for peaceful purposes, and not to fuel tank drivers, and bomber pilots. He envisioned a world made of bread based goods, making housing cheaper for everyone. Witches scuppered that idea though.

Not Eating Bread Turns You Into A Fantasist

Anyone who gives up bread immediately becomes a liar, and makes up all sorts of lies about bread, and the evils of bread.

Anyway, I’ve given up eating this sitcom.

Yeah, I went there.

Anyway, here’s Ridley Scott’s famous 1973 commercial for Hovis.

Finding Time To Write

Sometimes, when I do leave the house, I meet people who express an interest in writing, usually followed with the caveat, ‘I just don’t have the time’.

That’s fair enough. Our lives are so busy these days, what with work, finding time for the family, slipping out to be with friends, watching the latest must-binge TV series, and of course, self-love.

Except, that’s baloney.

Put aside half an hour every day, and train yourself to write 500 words a day.

500 words.

That’s not that many words is it?

In six months time, you’ve written a novel.

Whether it’s any good or not is another matter. But you have found the time. And you are now in the habit of writing 500 words a day. And by the end of the year, you’ve written a second novel.

Then write a dialogue heavy screenplay.

In 40 days.

So, in just over a year, writing for half an hour a day, you have two novels, and a screenplay. In the time it takes to watch an episode of The Daily Show.

(I wrote this post as much for me as for you.)

What’s The Opposite Of Netflix?

It’s probably obvious, but here’s the podcast in which we discuss this anyway.


We also wonder about the opposite of tissues, and the Harry Potter franchise. I mention this Percy Jackson movie:

I suggested it was a bit of a flop, and that the franchise potential died. I was wrong. Turns out the first movie made plenty of money, and a second one was made too.

This one also made a couple of hundred millions squids.

In retrospect then, I don’t think I meant Percy Jackson. I think I meant Alex Rider.