Is This Teapot A Pig?

Let’s get it out of the way … no, this teapot is not a pig, it’s a teapot.

And yet …

… is this teapot a pig?

I’ve seen this teapot every day for years now, and I always took it for granted that it was meant to be a twee pig in an apron and a straw hat. It has a little pig-like snout, and it has a pink hue. Thus, it must be a pig.

Except …

Look at its ears. Those aren’t pig ears. Pigs have ears like Gremlins, all triangulary and sticking out of the side of their heads. The ones on the teapot look more like teddy bear ears to me, and when I noticed that, I began to doubt myself. I began to wonder if it was more likely emulating the look of the Sylvanian Families.

Is this teapot a pig?

If it is a pig, which I’m beginning to seriously question, it should have a little curly tail. But close examination of the ‘pig’s’ arse offers up no clues. It’s ostensibly wearing an apron, which is covering up its pork butt. And now that piggy snout is looking less and less porcine with each passing glimpse. It even has a flower in one ear. Pigs don’t wear flowers in their ears.

Is this teapot a pig?

I mean, it’s not even pig coloured is it?

And pigs don’t wear aprons.

Or hats.

Nor do pigs have spouts.

Or handles.

Is this teapot a pig?

Only The Flakiest, Crumbliest …

I had a dream last night that I was watching a Flake advert on a constant loop. It was one from the 80s, but not one that actually existed. It was a sort of mix between this one:

And this one:

Now, I know that these ads are meant to be sexy, but my overriding memory of them when I was little is that they terrified me. I’m sure there’s someone out these who will say it’s to do with a fear of emasculation, but I think it was that bloody music.

Dave Trott, who worked on the Flake campaigns of the 80s says:

When we worked on the Cadbury’s Flake ads, the comparison was with an orgasm.

No shit. No-one noticed.

So the young woman locks herself away or goes somewhere where she won’t be interrupted – lush green field, the bath, ignoring a phone call. Nothing is allowed to interrupt that delicious, orgasmic moment of self indulgence.

But this one is even less subtle:

I didn’t know there used to be a plain chocolate version of the Flake either.

Wonder how they advertised that. (Insert your own jokes here).

Here’s how Jasper Carrott reacted to the bath one:



A year before he started co-hosting The Big Breakfast, Chris Evans was doing this …

… brace yourself.

TV-MAYhem was the ill-fated replacement for Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday! at the time when TV-AM was about to lose its ITV morning franchise. It lasted six weeks, before being replaced by the ever cheaper Let’s Just Show Cartoons And Nothing Else, before TV-AM finally vanished from our screens.

It put me in mind, for some reason, of the BBC’s summer replacements for their flagship shows Going Live! and Live & Kicking. Here’s On The Waterfront, which featured Andrew O’Connor and Kate Copstick:

I don’t remember much about this, except for a vague recollection of the title sequence, which I think might be a play on the This Morning titles of the time. I do remember The 8:15 From Manchester though.

Perhaps I should have done this on a Saturday.