Why Starbucks Is Secretly Horrifying

To be honest, I only started this website with the intention of exposing one story, but as the years have gone by, it has become increasingly more difficult to tell that story. Lawyers have been on my back, I’ve had lawsuits up the wazzoo, and my entire life has been put on hold, even though I’ve never told the story to anyone – that’s how powerful Starbucks has become.

But now, at last, unrestrained from the law, the truth can finally be told.

Starbucks is evil.

And I don’t mean in that made up Illuminati hiding in plain sight evil way, I mean actually evil.

And you and I have been complicit in their evil. We’ve known, secretly, deep down, somewhere in the bowels of our own humanity what’s been going on, but we’ve never wanted to admit it to ourselves.

We all know it, we all ignore it.

Every day.

That moment when they ask for a name to be written on the cup …

… You know what I mean. You just can’t bear to hear the truth.

That moment when they write a moniker on the side of the cup … that’s the moment the cup is christened.

The cups are alive.

And we’ve known it all along.

And we join in the horrifying moment, watching as the now named cup of life is handed over to be baptised in boiling hot water, and force fed crushed beans and milk, or ice and cream, or whatever hell else we might be ordering.

Everyday, millions of living cups are sent to their deaths all in the name of a fairly okay cup of coffee.

Branded cups that should be roaming free in the forests, instead they’re force grown in sheds the size of Denmark, waiting to be named and drowned in a single short transaction.

We should be ashamed of ourselves.

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