Thou shalt not use the word thou.
Have as many Gods as you want.
Never take your cock out in an elevator.
Don’t steal from murderers.
Never start a list of ten things with only one half-baked idea.
Something about a bear witnessing the theft of your neighbour’s wife.
Remember that you are a slave in the land of Egypt.
An inevitable joke about covering an ox.
Never take an ox’s cock out in an elevator.
If an idea’s not working, blind them with cleavage.
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For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…
Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…
