Finding Time To Write

Sometimes, when I do leave the house, I meet people who express an interest in writing, usually followed with the caveat, ‘I just don’t have the time’.

That’s fair enough. Our lives are so busy these days, what with work, finding time for the family, slipping out to be with friends, watching the latest must-binge TV series, and of course, self-love.

Except, that’s baloney.

Put aside half an hour every day, and train yourself to write 500 words a day.

500 words.

That’s not that many words is it?

In six months time, you’ve written a novel.

Whether it’s any good or not is another matter. But you have found the time. And you are now in the habit of writing 500 words a day. And by the end of the year, you’ve written a second novel.

Then write a dialogue heavy screenplay.

In 40 days.

So, in just over a year, writing for half an hour a day, you have two novels, and a screenplay. In the time it takes to watch an episode of The Daily Show.

(I wrote this post as much for me as for you.)

How To Get Netflix For Free

We all want something for nothing. We all want to be entertained without having to compensate all of the people who worked really hard to bring us that entertainment. We deserve it.

So there must be a way to get Netflix without parting with any of the money you worked really hard to get, right?

Well, thank your lucky stars.

Because there is.

With this SUPER SECRET technique, you can access Netflix for absolutely nothing.

And not just the Netflix in you geographical region either.

No, with this SUPER SECRET technique, you can access the Netflix catalogue of any region in the world, all at the touch of a button.

So, how do you get Netflix, FOR FREE, and how do you get to watch from anywhere in the world?


You don’t.

Pay the artists.

Oblivious Janitor Cut

There’s a trope that action movies keep revisiting because it seems like it should be funny, but I’m pretty sure it’s not. It’s that bit when Arnie is flying a Harrier Jump Jet precariously close to a skyscraper facade, and we cut inside and see a cleaner with headphones on, completely oblivious to the action outside.

It’s not just True Lies though. It happens in Mission Impossible 3 too. And in The Amazing Spider-Man also, this time with added (obligatory) Stan Lee Marvel cameo. There are variants in Super 8, Grosse Point Blank, and even Harry Potter. At least in Grosse Point Blank, they added an extra level to the gag.

Has it ever been that funny?


How To Make Money Writing Movies

There are no new ideas. Apparently.

I saw this on a website today.

It’s depressing.

Not because some of those films will never be made, nor because some of them will turn out to be brilliant movies. It’s the risk aversion that’s so disheartening. Sure, movies cost a fortune to make, and so studios bank on previously proven properties before pumping tonnes of cash into them, and mopping up the oceans of profit when they succeed.

That’s the accepted model anyway.

Paramount occasionally remember that their mid-budget thrillers make them forests of dosh though. They made a load in the 90s, forgot about them, and are now remembering to make them again. And of course, those mid-budget movies don’t always feature original stories. In fact, many of them are bestselling novel adaptations. But for every The Rainmaker, there’s one The Peacemaker.

But there’s yet another model that seems to get overlooked.

Spend a little bit – ie, 10-30 million – and reap massive rewards.

Juno cost $7.5 million, and made $231 million. Slumdog Millionaire cost $15 million and returned $377 million. And for the same price The King’s Speech grossed $414 million.

Not that it matters how much they made – though it does obviously, because movie making is a business after all – these are good films with original good stories. Well, The King’s Speech is Rocky for middle class people, but Rocky itself only cost a million bucks and made upwards of Sylvester Stallone (and bought us the Steadicam too).

Are you banking on a break out hit though? How many of these smaller budget films get those sort of numbers? If it’s one in twenty, then it cost the same as a new Avengers film I guess.

Why do you think those films called Razorblade, Sawtooth, and Haunted keep getting made? Because clear concept, low budget horror films make a ton of money off of a low investment.

Basically, what I’m saying is this.

Stop spending development money on reboots, remakes, sequels, and superheroes, and spend it on me instead. I have bills to pay.