Wedded Twits

We were playing a board game last week called Reminiscing. From the box it looked like one of those crappy games you might reluctantly play at Christmas, but it turned out to be a lot of fun, and encouraged plenty of story telling and well, reminiscing.

One of the dozens of childhood memories it threw up was about a time we went on a school trip to Tintern Abbey (it may not have actually been there), some time towards the end of primary school. On the coach journey down, a few of the kids got all excited about an idea they had.

Six of them, three couples (like 9 year olds have a concept of this), decided that they were going to get married.


I made that noise in my head, even back then. It was so stupid.

But, come lunchtime, when we were all let loose to play on the grounds, we all seemed to be dragged down to a giant oak tree, to bear witness to this pathetic charade.

Someone pretended to be the priest (this was a Catholic school), and the three couples all got hitched, and I seethed at having my play time stolen by idiots.

Following day at lunchtime, we were in school, and our whole year was summoned into the main hall, where an angry Headmistress began to deliver a pious lecture about how a few bad apples can spoil the barrel. She said we all knew what she was talking about, and that what happened the day before was a disgraceful sin that we should all be ashamed of.

And I was deprived of a second play time.

I wouldn’t have minded so much, but the next day, all three couples got divorced.

Stupid Sign

I saw this sign.

It bothers me.

How exactly are they going to enforce this? What if someone in a pub down the road orders a pint of beer? Will someone from the staff have to go outside the premises and snatch the beer from that person’s hand?


Too Much CGI?

We all hear it being said, and maybe we’ve even said it ourselves. There’s too much CGI in modern movies. It ruins them. When you can do anything, or see anything, it just ends up feeling like a computer game.

Except, that’s bullshit.

CGI is just another tool in the arsenal for movie makers, and the people who wield those tools the best, do so in the aid of telling their stories. In the same way they use lighting, or foley. You might as well berate a screenwriter for using Final Draft instead of a typewriter.

Which movie has more CGI in it? Godzilla or The Social Network.

That’s right, The Social Network.

I always hold up David Fincher as the counterpoint to too much CGI in movies. I defy you to spot a single CGI shot among the hundreds strewn throughout Zodiac.

A Trump Post

Not enough is being written about Donald Trump (CHUMP more like, amirite?), that much is clear. So allow me to add my tuppence worth.

I’m a bit of a Watergate buff, ever since spending a year learning about it as part of my History A Level. There’s so much going on and tangled up within the broader notion of what’s called Watergate, but it boils down to a few salient points. Nixon engaged in a program to rig his second (and possibly first) election, then covered up his involvement in that program. But not even Nixon did this with the aide of foreign enemies, nor did he go so far as to fire the Director Of The FBI.

Even Nixon’s library went out of it’s way this week to distance itself from this level of scandal.

If you’re involved in something that can rightfully have the phrase “not even Nixon did this” appended to it, you done fucked up good.

Trump has done an unlistable amount of bad things, and my gripe doesn’t even come close to any of these.

Donald Trump has ruined Watergate.

My only hope is that he brings an end to the annoying habit of calling minor scandals Somethingate. I don’t want this to be called Trumpgate. I want Trump’s name splashed across everything terrible (as does he, it seems) from now on. I want all scandals from here on out to be called SomethingTrump.