A Rabbit In A Hat With A Bat

When I was in halls at Uni, the guy in the room next to me used to play this song a lot. And I mean a lot.

It’s a perfectly good track. It sticks in your mind.

However, it’s burned deeply into my brain because the guy in the room next to me took the chorus and looped it onto a tape, which he then played at full volume one Sunday afternoon for three hours. It got so bad that everyone in the entire building just left.

So indelibly branded into my psyche is it that I often start to try and parse the lyrics.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat.

It’s an odd thing to wish for. Would it count as one or three wishes to a pedantic genie?

Also, is the rabbit inside the hat wielding the bat, or is the bat just incidentally in the hat next to the bat?

Or …

Is the rabbit wearing the hat?

Or …

Is the rabbit wearing the hat and holding the bat? Or is the rabbit wearing the hat which in turn is holding the bat?

And we’re presuming the bat is a baseball type one, not the winged variety that inspires billionaire vigilantes.

I’m going away now, because I just remembered the time that the guy in the room next to me left Gangstas Paradise on a loop at full volume and went out for the evening. I feel sick.

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