This article doesn’t need a preamble. The whole premise is in the title, thus rendering the actual text below completely redundant. It’s like an Onion headline.
Rich People Keep Cars Like Fish
A fun game to play is to browse Rightmove and get really picky about £15 million mansions. You find yourself muttering things like “there’s nowhere to put a snooker table”, or “the servants quarters aren’t roomy enough”, or “why does it look like Southfork?”.
One thing you notice though, is that really rich people keep their cars like they’re fish. The amount of mansions that have Ferrari’s kept in giant fish bowls is actually quite frightening. I wonder if they feed them?
Which bring us on to this …
Pixar’s Cars World Is Actually Terrifying
Where are all the humans in the Cars movies?
In the trailer for the third instalment, we even see that cars are building new cars.
I’ve long harboured the suspicion that cars are alive, but Pixar envisions a future in which self-driving cars have become sentient, and at some point deemed the human race surplus to requirements.
I don’t want to see the prequel, Cars: Covenant, which depicts that global vehicular genocide of everyone in graphic detail.
Some People Think Avril Lavigne Died And Was Replaced By A Doppelganger
It’s a bit like the Paul McCartney one this (or the wider one that posits that ALL the Beatles were dopplegangers – in fact, it seems that almost every celebrity has been replaced by a lookalike, if you go deep enough down that rabbit hole).
Anyway, this one goes that Avril commited suicide – lovely huh? – just before she completed the recording of her second album, and that her official paparazzi decoy, a friend named Melissa, has taken her place ever since – so as not to damage sales of that second album, or something. As evidence, Avril’s performance in a video from that second album is compared to ones from later albums. I’m not sure when people think that video was shot, if indeed she died before she completed that second album, but these thing rarely make any logical sense.
See also: Britney Spears faked her breakdown to distract from George W Bush’s presidency, and Jennifer Lawrence is a clone of a 1950s Egyptian actress.