Thought Vomit #13: ft. Bumper Radio Times

Although I really love iPlayer and TV On Demand on cable, and Virgin Plus and all sorts of other ways to watch telly when I want to watch it, it has removed some of the fun from Christmas. And what with the early releases of movies to DVD, I miss something about Christmas in particular.

The Bumper Radio Times.

When it first arrived in the house in days of yore, all smooth and shiny and with promises of wondrous televisual feasts, we would scour through the pages and make little notes against the shows we would watch and the films we would record. And if two great films clashed we’d have to decide which one to watch, and which one to keep on tape for prosperity.

Because ITV were always so lacklustre, we rarely had to record a film with ad breaks, so when they threw a spanner in the works and put on something unmissable it would muck up the tape system. Two films per four hour tape, that was the law.

The very first film we recorded to keep at Christmas was the Temple Of Doom. This tape stayed on the shelf until the day VHS died, it’s label slowly yellowing and drying out, the thick black felt pen writing stoically hanging on, ready to inform prying eyes that this tape contained Indiana Jones.

As kids we would watch these films often, to the point of knowing them word for word – except that this wasn’t true. We knew the words that had only been shown to our delicate ears, the words that had been excised and over-dubbed with clanking inexpertise, not the original unexpurgated expletive included versions.

A part of me always knew that John McClane never actually said “Yipee ki eh, Kimo Sabe”.

Buy My Books
  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

Most Read
  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

From The Archive

Sign up for my FREE newsletter