Thought Vomit #174: ft. Buzz Aldrin

I was watching [amazon asin=B001U3EOH6&text=In The Shadow Of The Moon] the other night, and it made me grin throughout. The NASA footage of the Apollo 11 launch was breathtaking. And towards the end, the Apollo-nauts began to talk about how their trips to the moon had given them a uniquely planetary outlook in their lives.

It reminded me of a scene I wrote for a BBC Radio pilot:

EM

World leaders are not chosen by public votes, they are predetermined by shadowy men in darkened rooms.

DEAN

Ah, you refer to the Bildeberg Group theories of extremists?

EM

No, I refer to the fact the World is run by Buzz Aldrin.

DEAN

Oh come on, Buzz Aldrin runs the world?

EM

He did this year. The Apollo 11 crew take it in turns to run the planet. Buzz and Neil are allowed to run it for two years at a time. Michael Collins is only allowed to run it on a single year basis.

DEAN

(sighs)

And why is that?

EM

He’s a moron. Michael Collins is single handedly responsible for Vietnam, Aristotle Onassis and Reality Television. Armstrong on the other wrist can take credit for Perestroika, the collapse of the Berlin Wall and Teresa May.

DEAN

(vague)

I see. And what has Buzz Aldrin contributed?

EM

Feminism.

DEAN

(challenging)

Ok then sir, who decided that these

(scoffs the word)

“astronauts” could run the world?

EM

They did. When they splashed down, they immediately demanded an audience with Nixon. During a heated argument in the Oval Office, the I Am Not A Crook’d One made a critical error, and accidentally handed them power. The triumvirate of moon walkers asked for the reigns. Nixon asked why they deserved it. They replied, they’d walked on the moon. Nixon was flummoxed and relented. In a rage he ordered the Watergate break in. Astronauts bought down Nixon in more ways than one.

Moon
Mooooon.

I actually quite like the idea of the Moonwalkers being allowed to run the planet, even if they are privileged white guys, because I think they would have had a broader socio-political spectrum than most parochial leaders.

I’m probably wrong though.

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