Thought Vomit #163: ft. Hitler’s Grubby Willy

From the post title, you might think that this is about Hitler’s scouse nephew Willy Hitler, a man who tried to blackmail his uncle into giving him a high-ranking job in the Nazi hierarchy. But that’s a whole other blog.

No, this is about the (possibly apocryphal) story that Adolf Hitler invented the blow-up sex doll.

I’ll say that again – Hitler invented the sex doll.

It was called the Borghild Project, and began in 1940 as a way to discourage German soldiers from using prostitutes and spreading syphilis. Himmler was put in charge, and oversaw the design of a smaller-than-life rubber doll called … wait for it … The Gynoid.

Disturbing
This is NOT the Gynoid …

Unsurprisingly, it had blue eyes and blond hair.

After Himmler did some “extensive testing” (get that image out of your head), he ordered the first 50 into production. The project was abandoned though in 1942, after soldiers were too embarrassed to carry The Gynoid around with them, for fear of ridicule or having to explain it to the enemy if they were captured.

Author Graeme Donald uncovered the sex toy operation while researching his book Mussolini’s Barber, a compilation of the most bizarre stories in military history. He made the discovery while retracing the footsteps of Americans Ruth and Elliot Handler, the inventors of the Barbie doll. They created their iconic toy after visiting Germany in 1956 and buying the Bild Lilli doll—an adult novelty item sold in German barber shops and nightclubs.

I might buy that book. More info here from Time.

And talking of tyrants inventing unsuspecting things, did you know that Margaret Thatcher invented Mr Whippy Ice Cream?

Or more precisely, she was part of the chemistry team that developed a way to introduce more air into ice cream, thus creating soft ice cream, making it cheaper to manufacture (double the air meant half the ingredients) and pour-able from a spiggot. (Is this an apt metaphor for her economic policies?)

So, next time you’ve got a gob full of creamy-tipped Flake, be sure to think of Margaret.

Phwoar
Now there’s an oh face

But all this is nothing compared to what Harold Wilson invented …

… Spanx.

Obviously not in the body-shaping lingerie form we know and love today, but before he was Prime Minister he was very self-conscious about his bum and belly. He developed this ingenious new material, which he called BlubberBladder, a kind of precursor to lycra.

Basically he stitched together half a dozen bicycle inner-tubes and clambered into the rubber ring every morning.

Some of this blog may in fact be a lie.

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