I’ve been thinking an awful lot about Batman.
How is a man with the attributes of a bat supposed to be able to see the bat signal?
He’s a bat man … he’s literally blind as a bat.
But then I thought, no Simon, he doesn’t have the attributes of a bat, he affects the attributes of a bat, in a flawed effort to get over the death of his parents, and scare criminals.
Criminals aren’t scared of bats. They’re scared of prison. Why doesn’t he dress up as Bellmarsh?
![Batman's Nipples Batman's Nipples](http://www.simondunn.me.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/tumblr_llkw3gMCC51qb3wjs.jpg)
See, if I wanted to deter criminals – I’d dress up as a speed camera … then use the massive revenue I generated, to pay for some therapy, to get over the death of my parents.
I wouldn’t make an orphan boy dress up as a bird.
He’s a rubbish superhero anyway. He’s not even a superhero. He’s just a really rich bloke who buys a load of shit and puts the word BAT in front of it.
I could do that.
Admittedly I’d end up with a load of bat shit, but never mind.