Category: Writing

  • The Unifying Theory Of Everything
    The Unifying Theory Of Everything

    Heklenberg checked her maths one more time. It took a few hours, but by the time she had reached the end, she was more sure now than she’d ever been. The realisation made her dizzy, and she reached for something tanglible, something solid, something … normal. The wood of the desk against the flat of…

  • Drifting Towards Oblivion
    Drifting Towards Oblivion

    Something the size of a continent drifted relentlessly through the cold vacuum of space, just as it had done for centuries. The armoured hull plates were battered by hundreds of years of tiny meteor collisions, and the once proud paintwork was now a mere memory crusted in rust. The lights from a thousand portholes pinpricked…

  • Mirror In The Bathroom
    Mirror In The Bathroom

    What the hell possesed me to order a giant, Gothic mirror from eBay? I’d forgotten I’d ordered it until it arrived this morning, badly packaged, bursting at the seams, and dropped off by a man wearing shorts in the dead of winter. There’s not even anywhere to put it. And I can’t blame it on…

  • The Rusty Bus
    The Rusty Bus

    No one knew why it was there. But it’d been there ever since he could remember. He even had a memory of looking at it from his pushchair, and that was like a whole six years ago. While the rest of the field looked normal, right in the middle, surrounded by shoulder height grass, and…

  • Every Bloody Time
    Every Bloody Time

    It was fair to say that he’d coasted through his life without paying much attention. Barry knew it, he’d be the first to admit it, if he noticed you making the point. Which he wouldn’t. Lately though, he was starting to notice things. Namely, the same things. Over and over a-bloody-gain. Every morning, he woke…

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  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

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  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

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