Category: Writing
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No Strings Attached
They’re not really strings. More like tensile wires. No, no, they don’t hurt. Well, they do a bit, but it’s more like a constant annoyance than a sharp pain. It’s not like when I used to have that stick up my arse. It’s kind of a long story, a bit like the man with a […]
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The Monorchism Conundrum
‘Hitler,’ we sang with glee. ‘Has only got one ball.’ ‘The other,’ we chortled. ‘Is in the Albert Hall.’ It’s no wonder Adolf was a little peeved at us, and threw a bomb-based temper tantrum. We’d stolen his testicle, and ensconced it in a national monument. You’d be annoyed. I’d be irate. Some threads shouldn’t […]
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The Crony
“What the hell is this?” It was the bellowed question that I’d been fearing, and even then I was surprised at the anger laced through it. “That’s the um,” I swallowed. My mouth was dry. “The extension.” “I’ve been away three months, and I come back to this.” There wasn’t a question there this time, […]
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Something Strange Is Afoot At The Supermarket
I had an odd feeling whilst shopping earlier. And not that usual insistent urge to scratch your anus whilst looking at bacon in the supermarket. I self-scan while I shop, mostly because I welcome our robot overlords, and I’m a terrible person. But as I was beeping away with the little hand-held R2 unit, I […]
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The Unifying Theory Of Everything
Heklenberg checked her maths one more time. It took a few hours, but by the time she had reached the end, she was more sure now than she’d ever been. The realisation made her dizzy, and she reached for something tanglible, something solid, something … normal. The wood of the desk against the flat of […]
