Category: Horror

  • Mirror In The Bathroom
    Mirror In The Bathroom

    What the hell possesed me to order a giant, Gothic mirror from eBay? I’d forgotten I’d ordered it until it arrived this morning, badly packaged, bursting at the seams, and dropped off by a man wearing shorts in the dead of winter. There’s not even anywhere to put it. And I can’t blame it on…

  • Ha Ha Halloween: Reasonably Scary Monsters
    Ha Ha Halloween: Reasonably Scary Monsters

    To celebrate the release of Godzilla, and nothing to do with yer actual Halloween, BBC2 dedicated itself in July of 1998 to Monster Night. The strand was hosted by Bill Bailey, with guests Phill Jupitus and Paul Ross, and had a documentary from Alex Cox about Godzilla, a showing of the 1976 version of King…

  • The Rusty Bus
    The Rusty Bus

    No one knew why it was there. But it’d been there ever since he could remember. He even had a memory of looking at it from his pushchair, and that was like a whole six years ago. While the rest of the field looked normal, right in the middle, surrounded by shoulder height grass, and…

  • The Story Sandwich
    The Story Sandwich

    She was addicted to sandwiches. Well, not just any sandwiches. Specifically, she was addicted to one sandwich, from one cafe, in one town. And they didn’t always have them. She could never recreate the taste of them at home, even if she bought the right bread, the same ingredients, even the same butter. She’d asked…

  • The Smell
    The Smell

    He awoke, slowly, the sounds of the world beginning to invade his consciousness. And then the smell hit him. At first it smelt like freshly cut grass, and he stretched under the covers, letting out a little purr of contentment. Then he took another sniff, and this time it was the odour of cooking bacon.…

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  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

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  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

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