‘Allo ‘Allo! Cartoon Fun! Computer Game

I mean, as cross-media licences go, it’s not unusual for sitcoms to get there own computer games (ALF, The Office, Home Improvement, and The Young Ones all had one, among others), but ‘Allo ‘Allo seems an odd choice. Especially when the platformer they created seems so disconnected from the series.

It seems to me like they re-skinned another game, with a fairly good avatar of Rene, and pretty good ones of the rest of the cast. But why Rene is hunting squirrels, I don’t know. And they obviously couldn’t afford to licence the music either.

Released in 1993 for the Amiga, the inlay card read like this.

“Listen very carefully, I shall zay zis only wance! Ze Colonel’s men’ ave got ‘old of ze real Fallen Madonna wiz ze Big Boobies by VanClomp. You, mon brave RenĂ©, must lead ze Resistance in a gallant attempt to swap ze real painting wiz ze forgery. Ze painting ‘as been ‘idden in ze safe in Lieutenant Gruber’s room.”

“But Michelle … zey will torture me if zey catch me wiz ze Fallen Madonna wiz ze Big Boobies by Van Clomp. I am not a brave man. I will ‘ave to tell all I know – not zat I know anything of course …”

“Do not worry, RenĂ©. If I can spare ze time I will come and ‘elp you. But anyway, we ‘ave drugged ze Colonel’s wine to make things easier for you. You ‘ave to find your way to ze safe in le chateau, avoiding ze guards and pick up any ‘elp you can on ze way. Some of ze guards are very ‘ard to fool and you must use your friends to get past zem. If you are caught by ze guards you must use some of your great courage to get away. Remember, ze future of all France is in your ‘ands. Good luck mon ami!”

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