Category: Writing

  • The Desert Of Ghost Ships
    The Desert Of Ghost Ships

    They sail across the dunes, crashing through waves of sand, their tattered sails somehow catching a wind that isn’t there. Their hulls are rotting, or rusted, and if you squint a little, you can see right through them. That’s not from the decay, that’s their ectoplasmic field. The desert of ghost ships appeared a few…

  • Mystearious
    Mystearious

    Was it a severed ear? Or was it all that was left of him? A few days ago, asking himself that sort of question would have been, well, out of the question. A lot had happened since then, and Harry jabbed at the bloody, disembodied lobe with the toe of his shoe. It could be…

  • The Telekinesis Revelation
    The Telekinesis Revelation

    Kelly sat in her room, on the foot of the bed, her legs dangling over the edge but not nearly reaching the soft carpet below. She had a graze on her knee, which was turning all sorts of fascinating colours now. Mum said it should have a plaster on it, but Kelly wanted to watch…

  • Worry Bees
    Worry Bees

    It was something I misunderstood as a kid. I think it’s called an ear-corn, you know, where you put in words you understand to replace the ones you’ve misheard, or misunderstood. So, since I was about four, I’ve called them Worry Bees. No-one has ever corrected me. I’m not sure if this is out of…

  • Brains
    Brains

    I found a brain on the street. It was living, you could feel it gently pulsing in your hand as you held it. It was a bit bigger than a cat’s brain, and a bit smaller than a human one. No idea how it got there, or who’s head it fell from. I bought it…

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  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

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  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

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