Thought Vomit #129: ft. Her Majesty’s Deficit

The Queen arrived at parliament in a gold gilded coach, wearing a crown encrusted with jewels, and the first thing she said was that we need to save a bit of cash.

Well, the fourteen horse-mounted guards in their hand-stitched livery could go for a start. Not to mention the racist ventriloquist dummy who sits next to you.

The Maj is a Vag

The BBC were at great pains during the post-election negotiations to point out that the Queen tries very hard to stay out of politics. If our Head of State literally has no purpose, why do we still have one?

Because the Royal Family is good for tourism, Simon.

Fine. Then we should hand her a speech to read in which she announces that ‘her’ new Government will tackle the daunting deficit by privatising the Monarchy. They can fund their opulence by selling blow-up Princess Diana dolls, and those nudey photos of Princess Margaret.

HRH plc could be traded on the markets, and the CEO could be answerable to shareholders. Sod being a subject, I want a piece of the dividends.

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