Thought Vomit #127: ft. Cleggy Balboa

In part one, all Cleggy wanted was to go the distance in the debates. But as part two looms and his stock has risen, he now wants to win.

His best moment in the first debate was a real piece of honesty:

“Ah come on, Britain, it’s true. I was nobody. But that don’t matter either, you know? ‘Cause I was thinkin’, it really don’t matter if I lose this election. It really don’t matter if these guys open my head, either. ‘Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody’s ever gone the distance, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I’m still standin’, I’m gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren’t just another bum from the neighbourhood. “

But now he’s headed for a rematch, his advisors are promising that Cleggy is going to eat lightning and crap thunder.

Will he give the dinosaurs a good fisting?
Cleggy, Cleggy, Cleggy, Cleggy

Vince Cable says, “These guys just don’t want to win now. They wants to bury him, they wants to humiliate him, they wants to prove to the whole world that he was nothing but some kind of a… a freak the first time out. Theys gonna kill him till he’s dead.”

He added, “They’re dinosaurs, but they can inflict a variety of damage.”

A defiant Cleggy blasted, “It ain’t about how hard ya vote. It’s about how hard you can get votes and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”

Cleggy plans to run up a large flight of steps before the debate on Thursday in an effort to stretch a bad Rocky analogy to breaking point.

Everyone loves an underdog story.

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