The Illuminati Are Leaving Secret Messages On Your Street

You’ve seen them. Those multi-coloured hieroglyphs spray-painted on the pavement and roads. You probably thought they pointed out where pipes and cables are, ready for when the digging begins, choosing to believe the blue ones mean water pipes, the red ones electrics, the yellow ones gas, the orange ones phone lines, and the green ones sewerage.

Well, you’re wrong.

Those symbols have a much more shocking meaning.

It’s how the New World Order and the Illuminati communicate with one another.

Because they can’t use phones, and they can’t use the Internet, because WE ARE ON TO THEM. The greatest secret conspirators in the whole of human history, THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT. HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT.

Talking to one another by spraying paint on concrete.

Not to be confused of course, with graffiti artists. No, because these evil-doers have spray paint cans that can WORK UPSIDE DOWN.

So what do these super-secret, evil symbols mean?

Well, I’ll tell you, because I know.

These four white glyphs mean from top right to bottom left …

Secret meeting …. that way … the door is a bit stiff … we’ve got cheese.

Then there’s this one …

Which means that under the hatch is a tap that dispenses free Gin & Tonic.

Yeah that’s right. The Illuminati GET FREE DRINKS. While the rest of us sheeple have to pay for ours.

These four are perhaps the most insidious of all.

They mean, again from top right to bottom left …

Two dead bodies under here … Big Brother secret observation room under here … hee hee, don’t these ones look a bit like Rubik’s Cubes … log on to the super secret website to see the stats of everyone we have killed (smiley face).

Because those Illuminati Rat Bastards use emojis.

And finally there’s this one …

Which the local council would have you believe is where they’re about to put up a new lamp post. But no. It actually means …


, ,
Buy My Books
  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

Most Read
  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

From The Archive

Sign up for my FREE newsletter