Thought Vomit #50: ft. A 1960 Joshua Logan Film

I met a really nice old man today.

It all started in a continued moment of ennui that found me pawing ineptly at the touch screen of the new phone. In an effort to alleviate the dirge, I was hunting for applications to download and play with, and I found a web page all about geocaching.

To save you the hassle of a google trek, geocaching is a game that makes use of the GPS systems in phones. People from all over the world hide parcels and packages in odd places, then register their co-ordinates on the geocache website for others to hunt and find. Some form parts of puzzles, such as finding a book in a library and using its ISBN to find the next clue.

So in a pique of curiosity, I decided to check what parcels were hidden near me, and it turns out there are dozens and dozens within a few miles.

Thus, I soon found myself in a field next to the M5, staring at the gnarly old hole in a tree trunk, wondering if there might be something inside. Turns out there was; an address book with one single local address in it.

Well, I had nothing else to do for a while, so I tapped the address into Google and got the directions. It was a short drive, and I parked up outside a little arts and craft style cottage in a village called Froghampton. There was a delicate little bell to ring, dangling forlornly from a rusting hook, so I gave it a tinkle. It took him a while to answer, but there came a man I now know as Neil.

He was in his 70s I’d say, and I explained that I had found his geocache, which pleased him because apparently not many people do. He invited me in, and soon he was pouring me tea from a discoloured and very chipped pot. I asked him how he had got into geocaching, and he explained that a young man from the local pub had introduced him to it. Neil has since placed half a dozen or so similar caches about the place, each one with a clue as to his residence.

That was when Neil touched me in my secret area.

I shan’t be geocaching again.

Buy My Books
  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

Most Read
  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

From The Archive

Sign up for my FREE newsletter