Thought Vomit #156: ft. Batman

I’ve been thinking an awful lot about Batman.

How is a man with the attributes of a bat supposed to be able to see the bat signal?

He’s a bat man … he’s literally blind as a bat.

But then I thought, no Simon, he doesn’t have the attributes of a bat, he affects the attributes of a bat, in a flawed effort to get over the death of his parents, and scare criminals.

Criminals aren’t scared of bats. They’re scared of prison. Why doesn’t he dress up as Bellmarsh?

Batman's Nipples
Batman's Nipples

See, if I wanted to deter criminals – I’d dress up as a speed camera … then use the massive revenue I generated, to pay for some therapy, to get over the death of my parents.

I wouldn’t make an orphan boy dress up as a bird.

He’s a rubbish superhero anyway. He’s not even a superhero. He’s just a really rich bloke who buys a load of shit and puts the word BAT in front of it.

I could do that.

Admittedly I’d end up with a load of bat shit, but never mind.

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