Category: Thought Vomit

  • The Great Antiques Con Trick
    The Great Antiques Con Trick

    I’ve been loathe to write this down, for fear of the repercussions. Powerful people are going to be angry about the revelation, and I’m fearful not for my own life, but for the life of my fish (which already seem to have gone missing from the outdoor pond). Before I get to the big stuff,…

  • Bob Ross
    Bob Ross

    I remember in the 90s, after school, there was an English waterpainter guy on Channel 4 that did something similar to Bob Ross, except Alwyn Crawshaw went out and about to do his landscapes. Anyway, there’s something relaxing and escapist about watching a good artist practice their art.

  • What Your Procrastination Is Telling You
    What Your Procrastination Is Telling You

    Like all of these things, I can only speak from personal experience, and the fact that I’m writing a blog about procrastination tells you I should actually be writing a script. But I’m not. I’m procrastinating. A long time ago – like 30 years or something – I used to misuse that word. I used…

  • Feast Of The Ass
    Feast Of The Ass

    The 14th January marks the Feast Of The Ass, which was a medieval Christian feast which celebrated the flight to Egypt. It is not, whatever the title might suggest, filthy in any way, shape, of form. Today also marks the debut in 1952 of NBC’s flagship show Today. That’s not to say these two facts…

  • 2020 Vision
    2020 Vision

    As the clock struck midnight and the fireworks ejaculated like an excited spaniel into the dark night sky, my world slipped from me, and I was visited by a wise old soul, who took the form of a tortoise. This tortoise had a lot to say, and not a lot of time in which to…

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  • Proctology: A Bottom Examination
    Proctology: A Bottom Examination

    For a long time now I’ve been wanting to write an old-fashioned programme guide. One you can hold in your hand and thumb through, make notes on, spill coffee on. So I did. Proctology: A Bottom Examination is my deep dive into Bottom, the hit BBC Two sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. That’s…

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  • Re-Casting Keanu
    Re-Casting Keanu

    Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him eight years older than Clive Dunn was when he was first cast in Dad’s Army. But don’t panic, Clive Dunn was always playing much older characters than his own age. Keanu Reeves is 56. That makes him seven years older than Stephanie Cole was when she was first…

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