TF8&s=books&qid=1229256329<\/span>&sr=8-1<\/a><\/p>\nSo, I will buy it, if, and only if, I write a new bit of stand up every day this week.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s rather ridiculous that I feel the need to publicly announce this, but it\u2019s the only way it will work. Otherwise I\u2019ll not do anything and still buy it. Who wouldn\u2019t? It\u2019s the whole damn lot of Calvin & Hobbes.<\/p>\n
The trouble is, it\u2019s autumn. And autumn has a habit of beating me up. It\u2019s not the weather or the lack of sun, it\u2019s just that every year, without fail, something happens that makes me miserable and self-defeatist.<\/p>\n
It would be nice to enjoy autumn. I\u2019d like to spend the summer growing a beard, and then watch it turn yellow and brown and slowly fall off of my face.<\/p>\n
Weirdly though, this autumn, nothing happened, yet inevitably I descended into a spiral like a liquored up kid on a helter skelter. I think it\u2019s just habit now. Or maybe there\u2019s something in my jumpers that acts as a depressant. Maybe wool is a downer. That might explain why sheep always look suicidal.<\/p>\n
I like the word liquor. But if you have something that is like liquor, but not quite, is liquor there or thereabouts, you get Liquor-ish. Mmm, a Bacardi Breezer Dib Dab.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My toothpaste has mocked me again. Twice. I\u2019m beginning to wonder if it\u2019s toothpaste from the wash bag of Jesus. Whatever the case may be, the miraculous properties of mundane toiletries has highlighted my own lack of productivity, so it\u2019s time to motivate myself in the style of my friend Sam. I want this: THE […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-80","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thought-vomit","category-whingegasm"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=80"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":502,"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80\/revisions\/502"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=80"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=80"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.simondunn.me.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=80"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}